Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
