She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
