Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
