I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
