okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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