just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
