Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize