i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
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I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
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My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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