she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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