I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
