Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
