New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
