Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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