thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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