The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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