is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
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