We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
