Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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