I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
