I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
FUCK WHALES
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
