I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize