remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize