I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
