so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
