i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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