apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
as a side note pls kill me
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
