I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
This is the high leading the old right now
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
