was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You can't just leave with hair like that
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
