It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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