I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
