Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
