suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
the raccoons are back...
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