Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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