Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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