I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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