Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
