THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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