I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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