It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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