Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize