Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
