Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
