I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
