It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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