My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize