***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
my poor anus
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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