So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I need moral support for this bender
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard