oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.