Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.