You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
This girl is more easily done than said...
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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