I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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