This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
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