i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
