She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
