Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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