i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
