He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
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She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
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His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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