Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
