Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
