it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
North Korea, Best Korea!
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
