I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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