things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
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It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
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Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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